10 things men should never say to women

We’ve all been there. You’re having an argument with your partner, brother, father, male friend, whatever. You think you are using your brain, when he suddenly says something that makes it about you being a woman. Or he might just say something in every day life that makes you think “Hang on a minute. What now?” Here is my list of 10 things men should never say to women:

1. Are you all hormonal now again?

No! Don’t! Ever!!! I’m sorry if this might come to a surprise for some of you men out there, but women actually have a BRAIN. So when a woman gets angry, moody or irritable, it doesn’t mean that it’s always just due to a sudden rush of hormones. Ever stopped to think we are simply reacting to something in our environment, like stress or someone (maybe you) saying something out of line? Our reaction is our BRAIN sending signals to our NERVE SYSTEM that we aren’t so happy right now. No woman likes being treated like a bag of hormones.

2. You look sexy when you’re angry!

I’m angry. I want you to listen. The last thing I want to feel, is that I’m just a sexy thing for you. “aaaw, look at those fierce eyes, and that passionate expression…mmm…”. Ehhhhhh. No.

3. You should be aware of how men look at you in bars. I don’t like it.

Ok first of all: I don’t go to bars to count the men checking me out. That’s a waste of my time. Second of all, I don’t need to be aware of anything like that. It’s not my job or my duty. And if you don’t like it, beat it.

4. I’m not gonna let you pay! You’re a woman!

Yes, well observed dick head, and you’re a man! Ok, I know that sometimes it is really nice to have someone take you out. I certainly appreciate that. But in return, I like to pay, too! Nowadays, most women work, and make their own money. So to offer to pay, because I’m a woman, is lame. To offer because you like me, and want to show that, or because I’m a poor student, and you have a job, totally OK!

5. You really remind me of my ex-girlfriend.

…..who you’re no longer together with. Eh, anyone else getting disturbed here? No one wants to feel like they’re in a recycled relationship. That YOU’RE recycled. Don’t be stupid man. Don’t say that.
6. Women’s football sucks. Girls don’t know anything about sports anyway.

Why do some men assume that the female brain for some reason can’t handle information about sports? Physically, we might be weaker, but that doesn’t mean we can’t ever keep up with the sports talk. What an insult! My 5-year-old niece has probably been to more football games than most of her male friends. Pah.

7. It’s ugly when women smoke. They shouldn’t do that.

Cause it’s so damn pretty when a man smokes or what? Holding a stick in your hand is soooo manly! Having an addiction is never pretty. But neither is having women behave so that they look good in men’s eyes.

8. You can party like a man!

I am a woman. I am partying. Therefore, I party like a woman. Simple logic. Get it?

9. Be careful when lifting that, you might break a nail!

Oh, sarcasm. Because yes, ALL women and girls spend hours every week getting their nails done. No. Some do, some don’t. Please don’t assume that my entire universe spins around my next manicure.

10. (Trying to be cute): Girls don’t poop! Hihi!

STOP GIGGLING! Actually, you’re right. I come from Fairy Tale Land, where women never have their periods and never poop. Because not only did God take out a rip, he also decided to take out our bowls! The anus is just there for your pleasure. Some men might think it’s really cute and all to say that when entering the flatulent stage of the relationship, but many girls actually have deeply rooted anxiety to ever do number 2 in the presence of their new boyfriend, because of the stupid notion that girls are just too feminine to do a stinker.