10 things men should never say to women

We’ve all been there. You’re having an argument with your partner, brother, father, male friend, whatever. You think you are using your brain, when he suddenly says something that makes it about you being a woman. Or he might just say something in every day life that makes you think “Hang on a minute. What now?” Here is my list of 10 things men should never say to women:

1. Are you all hormonal now again?

No! Don’t! Ever!!! I’m sorry if this might come to a surprise for some of you men out there, but women actually have a BRAIN. So when a woman gets angry, moody or irritable, it doesn’t mean that it’s always just due to a sudden rush of hormones. Ever stopped to think we are simply reacting to something in our environment, like stress or someone (maybe you) saying something out of line? Our reaction is our BRAIN sending signals to our NERVE SYSTEM that we aren’t so happy right now. No woman likes being treated like a bag of hormones.

2. You look sexy when you’re angry!

I’m angry. I want you to listen. The last thing I want to feel, is that I’m just a sexy thing for you. “aaaw, look at those fierce eyes, and that passionate expression…mmm…”. Ehhhhhh. No.

3. You should be aware of how men look at you in bars. I don’t like it.

Ok first of all: I don’t go to bars to count the men checking me out. That’s a waste of my time. Second of all, I don’t need to be aware of anything like that. It’s not my job or my duty. And if you don’t like it, beat it.

4. I’m not gonna let you pay! You’re a woman!

Yes, well observed dick head, and you’re a man! Ok, I know that sometimes it is really nice to have someone take you out. I certainly appreciate that. But in return, I like to pay, too! Nowadays, most women work, and make their own money. So to offer to pay, because I’m a woman, is lame. To offer because you like me, and want to show that, or because I’m a poor student, and you have a job, totally OK!

5. You really remind me of my ex-girlfriend.

…..who you’re no longer together with. Eh, anyone else getting disturbed here? No one wants to feel like they’re in a recycled relationship. That YOU’RE recycled. Don’t be stupid man. Don’t say that.
6. Women’s football sucks. Girls don’t know anything about sports anyway.

Why do some men assume that the female brain for some reason can’t handle information about sports? Physically, we might be weaker, but that doesn’t mean we can’t ever keep up with the sports talk. What an insult! My 5-year-old niece has probably been to more football games than most of her male friends. Pah.

7. It’s ugly when women smoke. They shouldn’t do that.

Cause it’s so damn pretty when a man smokes or what? Holding a stick in your hand is soooo manly! Having an addiction is never pretty. But neither is having women behave so that they look good in men’s eyes.

8. You can party like a man!

I am a woman. I am partying. Therefore, I party like a woman. Simple logic. Get it?

9. Be careful when lifting that, you might break a nail!

Oh, sarcasm. Because yes, ALL women and girls spend hours every week getting their nails done. No. Some do, some don’t. Please don’t assume that my entire universe spins around my next manicure.

10. (Trying to be cute): Girls don’t poop! Hihi!

STOP GIGGLING! Actually, you’re right. I come from Fairy Tale Land, where women never have their periods and never poop. Because not only did God take out a rip, he also decided to take out our bowls! The anus is just there for your pleasure. Some men might think it’s really cute and all to say that when entering the flatulent stage of the relationship, but many girls actually have deeply rooted anxiety to ever do number 2 in the presence of their new boyfriend, because of the stupid notion that girls are just too feminine to do a stinker.

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Add Frequency: Feminism!

I just want to make sure no one out there has missed Feminist Frequency.

(Banner logo: http://www.feministfrequency.com)

It’s a brilliant idea by Anita Sarkeesian, who is a feminist pop culture media critic, to look at and analyze the gender roles in pop culture. In thoroughly researched video clips she talks about everything from female stereotypes in Hollywood movies (see below) to the differences of the gender roles in the Hunger Games book vs the Hunger Games movies.

The video clip below is one of my favorites:

Anti-Feminist. But Pro-Equality. The new movement.

Update, 11/08/2012:

I have been brought to the attention that the FB group “White offended men” is in fact satire, and led by a feminist man, who just recently stepped forward as the creator and admin of the group. But the FB group is still important to highlight the fact, that more and more men are “offended” by feminism.

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The gender war never stops. First, there was feminism. To lift women’s status, to free them from patriarchism. Now, there’s masculinism. Every action has a reaction, and the relatively new Men’s Rights Activism movement is definately a reaction to feminism.

Men’s Rights Acitivism is a growing trend, especially in Sweden. It ditches feminism, calls it feminazi instead and is completely masculinist. But they still call themselves “equalitists”. A Swedish group on facebook, called “White offended men” (Vita kränkta män), say they’ve had enough of the male-discriminating feminism in Sweden. They feel that men are targetet, always being the root of all evil. That they’ve had enough of the misandry. Regularly posting comments on articles and blogs, they engage a community of more than 10,000 followers in their discourse. The tone is often ironic.

One of the white offended men’s idols is Pär Ström, a proud equalitist who has a blog on gender news: “The requirement that the sexes should have equal value means that there must be an end to the contempt against men, sometimes even misandry, which is widespread in Sweden today. There is for example talk about “the old man’s domination” and it is believed that these “old men” should get out of the way as quickly as possible. The equalitists require that both sexes are to be considered as positive.” (translated from Swedish)

But the Men’s Rights Activism doesn’t stop in Sweden. There is a new academic journal called “New Male Studies“. In their rationale you can read the following: “In response to a now well-documented decline in the overall well-being of males in postmodern culture, a group of Australian, Canadian, European and American scholars have gathered to work together to publish research essays, opinion pieces, and book reviews on all aspects of the male experience.”

Maybe you wouldn’t exactly call it “activism”, rather than a reaction to what hard-core feminism apparently can mean for some postmodern men. The New Male Studies has academic essays written by a range of different people. Even women. For example, you can read about how men are being portrayed in the mainstream media, written by Peter Allemano in “The Bold, Independent Woman of Today and the “Good” Men and Boys in Her Life: A Sampling of Mainstream Media Representations.” Many activists point out this particular problem: that women are allowed to publically offend and ridicule men, whilst it would be highly politically incorrect for men to do the reversed.

The movement stretches from facebook groups to campaigns, like the Movember campaign. Every November, campaigners grow their facial hair to highlight men’s diseases, like prostate cancer. They feel it’s not given as much attention as for example breast cancer.

The BBC recently wrote an article about men’s rights activism and about Tom Martin who sued the LSE’s gender studies department for sexism. Martin also thought that the unfairness started and was about sex: “Since the pill, women have been told they can and should be having orgasms. And because they haven’t been, they categorise that as men’s fault.”

I’m really looking forward to following this movement. Is it a real challenge to feminism? What do you think?

Graphic: http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/meet-the-mens-rights-movement/

Chickspotting


American playboy Joe Bovino
is coming out with his book “Field Guide to Chicks of the United States” this June. It’s similar to a bird watching book – but with women instead. Now, thanks to entertaining insights from someone who knows it all and has done it (them) all, every dude can set out in the wilderness and find themselves one of the 92 species of women. It’s a matter of either laughing or crying. Probably the first.”I’d read it to get a laugh,” says American student Steve, 25. “Because somethings are probably true, stereotypes come from somewhere. Maybe it will engender some kind of feminist revolt, which would be refreshing, since feminism is dead in the States.”

But Lindy West from online based women’s magazine Jezebel, seemed to have cried when the reading the press release (see further down). In her article she writes: “Bovino makes sure to let us ladies know that this book isn’t just for men—there’s a lot that women can learn from it too: “Single chicks can use this book to keep an eye on the competition and pick up valuable inside information.” Wow, thanks! Because if there’s one thing women need help with, it’s figuring out new ways to compare ourselves to other women.”

Either way, it seems this book will spur many debates when it hits the shelves this summer. The tone of the book seems to be sexist, but at the same time it appears to be taking a piss out of American stereotypes, which in effect could have positive impact on the feminist debate.

Here’s the press release:

“The “Field Guide to Chicks of the United States” is the must-have summer book as your readers hit the road this summer. The book will help you learn how to spot, identify, admire and appreciate American women all across the country.

Author Joe Bovino has identified 92 different “species” of women across the country. There’s Miss Texas, who is known for her big, blonde hair, large breasts, a natural tan and megawatt smile. She is frequently spotted in cowboy boots, short shorts and designer clothes and accessories. You’ll be able to spot her at a beauty salon, beauty pageant, country club or church. The Phillycat is a tiger on the outside and pussycat on the inside who cares mainly about family, friends and basic necessities. She’s likely spotted in a neighborhood bar, coffee shop or shopping mall. And on the West Coast, you are likely to encounter the Peace of Ass who is typically a personal trainer, psychologist or massage therapist. Her “song” is talking about inner peace, personal growth and meaningful relationships. Look for her in health food stores, yoga or Pilates studios, canyons, trails and spiritual centers. On the cover, you can see Afrodisiac, Country Biscuit and Taco Belle!

Bovino is giving his gift of Chickspotting to all mankind in this new book, which offers amusing insights into the most distinctive physical characteristics, vocalizations, behavioral tendencies and mating habits of American Chicks from regional and ethnic subculture (or species) across the country. Inside you will also find vivid illustrations of each Chick, color-coded range maps and other “Chick magnet” guidance.

Set up much like a bird guide, it sticks to the facts that Chickspotters can see out in the “wild.” Instead of identifying why women in America behave as they do or look a certain way – it examines what they do and how to spot them when they do it, all while admiring and appreciating them in their natural habitat.

As Bovino says – Birds are cute, but Chicks are better.

The “Field Guide to Chicks in the United States” will get men and women talking, and your readers will appreciate the facts that will surely help them improve their dating lives, and crack a smile while doing so.

The book is full of amazing full-color illustrations that you will have to see to believe. Men will want to see how many they recognize or can cross off their to-do list; and women will want to see if you can “spot” themselves in the book. Let me get a copy out to you to see for yourself, and I’d love to get your thoughts on the book’s concept. The book will be available for pre-order now at http://www.fieldguidetochicks.com and will be available this summer. Joe is available for interviews and the book is also available for give-a-ways.”

Too many men

There are too many men represented in the media.

According to a research conducted at City University London, there were four times as many men as women being interviewed on TV and radio. Of course you could probably say the same thing about ethnicity, by now it shouldn’t come as a shock that the standard in the West is the white, middle-aged male. But this is a blog about gender. So let’s continue.

When will there be a fair representation of both sexes, if even the media sees the man as a standard? When I’m interviewing for TV or radio, I always try to get equally as many women as men.

Have a look at a voxpop my fellow colleague Will Kennedy and I did for TV a couple of weeks ago. It was about elective C-section and if women should be allowed to freely choose or not. One could think that interviewing only women would make sense. But men should also be able to voice their opinion!